Ways to actually be helpful to others

Little things you can do that can make a big difference

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There’s a bit of a meme in the startup ecosystem that goes something like: “Let me know how I can be helpful.”

It’s a meme because the people who say this tend to be the types of people who are not very serious about actually being helpful.

One hypothesis as to why this happens is that people are trying to appear as kind and helpful…for social status reasons…but they are not actually genuine about it. Which is a shame, of course, because helping other people is a really beautiful thing!

I put together a quick collection of things you can do to “pay it forward” in the startup ecosystem, and assist others in ways that are perhaps more accessible than you once imagined.

Before you roll your eyes, I ask you to give this a shot. The case I am trying to make is that if you’re really focused on actually and meaningfully helping other people, you’d be surprised by how easy it can be. I’m talking minimal amounts of time and energy, while the impact you can have on others can be extraordinary.

I get it. Life is busy. You don’t have all the time in the world. Let alone time to donate to helping others for no specific gain for yourself. I am not here to play arbiter of morality, and not here to tell you how to spend your time. The one thing I will do, however, is share the following: you’d be surprised by the impact helping others can have on your own life. I have seen time and time again this virtuous effect manifest in countless ways.

You help someone. They help you. They know someone you should know who knows someone you should know. You get the point. It’s hard to predict precisely how this will take root, but if you do this over a long enough period of time, I’d be hard pressed to imagine it not having some impact on you. Beyond that, it can be fun!

One reason I know this is from first-hand experience. The Next Play community contains countless stories of people paying it forward in one fashion or another. Many of the below ideas come from things we’ve seen work via Next Play:

“next play was my secret weapon to joining an exceptional startup in <2 weeks! Jarred is an incredible matchmaker who cut through the noise and made high-signal introductions to a handful of vetted companies. It’s always challenging to wind down your startup but I would HIGHLY recommend next play to founders and operators contemplating their next big move.”

I also want to hear your ideas. Email us hi@nextplay.so. How can we be more helpful? How can we help others be more helpful?

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Some ways you can actually be helpful

Most of the stuff in this list will sound pretty simple. That’s because it is. I hope you find the main takeaway to be: it’s not that hard to actually be helpful. (And consider trying some of this out yourself!)

Listen closely

Probably the best way to actually be helpful is to actually know what people want. Listening can really help you with that. Avoid making judgements too quickly. Give people a shot. Listen to what they are saying. What are they specifically looking for?

Don’t overpromise

It’s tempting to think that if you want to help someone the best thing you can do is just agree to helping and then promise them a solution. But sometimes, and this is often the case, you can’t actually solve their problem.

Instead of just saying you can, be honest. Be honest about your limitations. Or your priorities. People will really appreciate that clarity and directness.

Try to make connections

You probably know people. You probably know people who should know some of the other people you know. This is an opportunity to add a lot of value - offer to make connections (the kind way) and you’ll see how much of a win-win it can really be for all parties involved.

Don’t offer introductions to people you can’t actually make a good introduction to. But try your best to see what you can do to make a connection.

If you’re trying to be helpful to a startup, the best thing you can do is make introductions to customers and candidates. Those will actually make a difference.

Share relevant links

As you’re scrolling the internet, reading blog posts and newsletters, keep a collection of good stuff you find. And then, as you go about reading, share it with the people who you know who would appreciate it. A good read or podcast can really go a long way.

I would avoid sending really obvious things they have probably read before. Instead, try and find things that seem more under-the-radar. Things that if they received they would be like: “well this is interesting, I would have not have found this if you hadn’t sent it to me.”

Invite people to things

That’s it. Do it. If you’re going for coffee with friends, why not invite the person who you’re just starting to get to know. Even if they don’t come, they’ll appreciate the gesture. They’ll appreciate you including them. And they’ll probably return the favor.

Give direct feedback

It’s fairly common as an adult to go many years without receiving direct feedback from others. Which is a shame. Because feedback is one of the best ways to go about learning and self-improvement. Sharing direct feedback is not always super easy. You don’t want to be rude. You don’t want to be weird. You don’t want to accidentally make a mistake.

All those things are true, and yet still I would say it’s worth finding a way to kindly share your thoughts with someone, especially if they are asking for it. This also applies to companies. Tell them about your experience with them. They will really value it.

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If you’re looking to meet new people, be sure to check out the Friends of Next Play Slack.

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Lend a listening ear

Sometimes, for one of many reasons, people just want to talk. Often its because they want to externally process their thoughts. That’s fine. Get on a call. Meet them in person. Give them 30 minutes. And then be an active listener. Let them rant or complain.

Actually follow-through

Sometimes people will ask you directly for help. In those moments, you have your opportunity to shine. It’ll sound “duh” obvious but here’s your shot: do what you say you’re going to do.

That’s all you have to do. Whatever it is you say you’re going to do. People will start to think of you as someone they can count on, and they’ll really value it.

Share what you know

You may not think of yourself as an expert. But everyone has something useful to share. Sharing your stories and knowledge with others can be really useful. You could start a blog today and start documenting some of your learnings and experiences over the years, and people will find it helpful.